change.

its time.

and i just.

deactivated.

no more facebook for a while.

im really not a fan of lies. even small ones.

how do you break up with someone you are not even with.

i couldnt even tell him to buzz off when he was sleeping with random girls.

or when he is married and has a kid.

or when he is nine years older than me and still cant drive. and plays with action figures.

or when he treats me like crap and then says i complain and over analyze.

or when he had a girlfriend all along.

its not that i let them take advantage. i just dont know what to do. i dont want to make excuses. i dont want to be mean. im good at saying no not now. but. i dont know how to say no not ever. and not be mean.

i despise selfishness. unfortunately. im about as selfish as they come. gross.

also i pride myself in not being super girlie. get me alone for a few days stuck with nothing to do but think. im about as girl as they come.

pride comes before the fall.

im covered in paint. even my feet.

to want change. an to actually change are two very different things.

i want to go.

im getting antsy.

im super thankful for my family. super.

i cant stop crying.

its kind of beautiful.

prove me wrong please.

its gonna take quite the man to stick with me for good.

im alot.

im so opinionated.

and super thick headed.

i also dont want it to be about me.

but sometimes it would still be nice if you tried.

i cant wait to see it with the bandage off.

sweet scar and everything.

Abs says that he will think its hot.

if there is a he.

dont feel like sleeping.

it might be the vicodine talking.

but probably not.

i think people like blogging because you can just talk. no one stops you. and someone listens.

like this.

i can only think of one person that would put up with me going on like this without stopping me... or saying something mean. i can talk and know that somebody will read this. i will be heard. my rambles will be read. even if it is just by my big sister.

i dont necessarily even want to be understood. just heard out. and loved still.

we are not compatible. compatible. able to exist and perform in harmonious or agreeable combination. we are not harmonious or agreeable.

thats ok.